13.3 million seconds and counting

April 16, 2018

Welcome to Corgi-Class Starship, the newsletter that absolutely does not have a problem with Starburst jellybeans, what the fuck are you talking about, don't look at me 

You'll Like This

Update(s) on thing(s) I made or somehow helped to bring about.Idea Factory Giveaway66 - Taxicab Conspiracy Theorists"Jon (@ferociousj), guest co-host Jen (@jennifermarie), and special guest David Brothers (@hermanos) uncover ideas for vital videos of all genres and spontaneously create a brand new idea for a hit game show."It turns out we all also had stories of car-driving weirdos to share, which now makes me wonder if there's yet another new podcast idea lurking around under the surface of this one.You can subscribe using:Apple PodcastsRSSStitcherGoogle Play MusicYou can also just go to the website to play or download episodes:https://ideafactorygiveaway.simplecast.fm/Instant Band Night 4 On The FloorWe're a month out, just about. Here's the pitch:1. The stage has a drum kit, guitar, bass, keyboard, and mics.2. We draw names out of hats to make instant bands that get 10 minutes in the green room to plan an 8-minute set.3. A hat-drawn artist will also take the stage alongside each band to draw their gig poster on a meeting room easel pad.*May 10 (Thurs)507 55th St (@ Telegraph)Oakland CA 946098p$5 doorBYOBWe actually go into this in ep65, funnily enough, but the design of the idea means that it's at its best when there's a band onstage and a band in the green room simultaneously, which requires a certain number of musicians to be in the building. The only way we achieve that is by inviting everybody, so if you know some fun people in the Bay Area, get your ass to the Facebook event and get invitin', or just forward this to whoever. Your help is much appreciated; thank you.* There are details and FAQs on Eventbrite and Facebook if you're into that sort of thing. 

Medium Ramble

Skippable if you're in a hurry.One of the main places I talk about this newsletter happens to be the podcast, but what I'm realizing is that my explanation for it may be too lengthy. Here's my question to you, for which I would love an answer: how would you explain this newsletter to someone who isn't already reading it?Alternatively: what's your favorite part of this newsletter? This isn't an ego-stroke so much as an effort to discover if there's dead weight in this thing nobody reads that I can safely cut, or if there's a section that needs expanding, etc. Go ahead and let me know! 

#dadthoughts

Also skippable if you're in a hurry or don't care. No judgment.Quentin turned five months old just a few days ago. Five months. Not 22 weeks or whatever. See, just because I became a parent didn't automatically mean that I abandoned all sense when it came to measuring time! Weeks become a useless measure for child age after about three. Once you get above that, you can just say "about a month." And then just measure in months; what's wrong with months? 

  • Two months.

  • Four and a half months.

  • A little under seven months.

  • Almost nine months.

Once he's past a year, that becomes the new yardstick. 

  • A little over a year.

  • Just about a year and a quarter.

  • A year and three-quarters.

  • Almost two.

If I were faster at math and also a ridiculous person, this is how I'd answer any parent who insists on measuring their child's age in weeks when they ask how old Quentin is, particularly if their kid's over a year:"Oh, Brajaydenslee is 59 weeks old tomorrow! How old is Quentin?""About 15.7 million seconds.""What?""Six months."Fortunately for everyone, I'm not that fast at math. 

Fascination Corner

I read a lot of newsletters; here are some links that caught my eye.

  • Scientists accidentally create mutant enzyme that eats plastic bottles. Two words! [pounds fist on table] Mass. Production. 

  • People who've worked for the Trump administration are having trouble finding jobs and the schadenfreude is so delicious I could eat it forever and never tire of it in a million billion years. 

  • If you're all caught up on Game of Thrones, this Twitter thread is worth your time. 

  • So there might actually be a way for us to have our beef without killing the planet, but is it so much work that nobody wants to do it that way? Probably? [pained_grimace_shrug.gif]? 

  • Who else besides me wants a longread on the increasing viability of laser weapons? 

  • If a simulated humanoid can teach itself to do backflips after millions of runs in simulation, isn't one of the next steps taking two simuloids and making them battle each other? After trillions of iterations, would you have evolved the perfect martial art? Can someone make this happen just to see? 

  • The guy who wanted everyone to know how stupid blockchain is as a practical technology has come out with a sequel. 

  • Hilton is giving its workers snazzier places to hang out while they do their jobs, which is both nice and also a sad statement about, you know, capitalism. 

  • The Conversation has an interesting, if dismaying, read on Why you stink at fact-checking. 

  • This is going to be a problem, let's just call it now: it's an image sensor that can also provide its own power. 

  • If I understand these new forms of written millenial English, does that make me one of them? I thought we just got all this shit sorted out, me and my fellow Xennials. 

  • Not gonna lie: this sounds like a great idea for when I'm old, provided my pals also get them and we can hang out together. It'll be worked out by then, right? 

  • This is the kind of heist I want to read more about, always and forever. Stringing cables between buildings with drones?? I fucking love this. 

  • Stop for a second and read the best science fiction story of this year and possibly all years. It's very short. 

  • I wanted to call attention to this by-now ancient Twitter thread (presented here in Thread Reader form because it's very long) that rings true to me, mostly because I don't know what to do about it and I'm hoping someone else out there does. 

A Fictional Thing

Something made-up that somehow suggested itself to me and which I could not escape.A band and their albumCRAB EARTH, The Itching Is An Ongoing Concern 

Thanks

If you've read this far, I thank you. Feel free to forward this to someone you like, or inflict upon someone you don't.