is "stochastic grifting" a term yet

January 23, 2023

Welcome to Corgi-Class Starship, the newsletter that might as well admit it's had the wording of this particular post stuck in its head for days now 

You'll Like This

Update(s) on thing(s) I made or somehow helped to bring about.Idea Factory GiveawayI haven't lost hope that I'll recover enough energy to kick the side of the podcast machinery and get it rumbling to life in early 2023. In the meantime, you can find the show's Apple Podcasts presence here, which includes a back catalog over 150 episodes long chock-full of excellent ridiculousness, including an experimental tabletop RPG and a couple of Star Trek fantasy drafts that could almost be their own show if I had the time to make yet another podcastInstant Band Night 19: SOLAROne more call for anyone who was at Instant Band Night 18: if you took photos or video, drop me a line, because I'm hoping to put together a big album that everyone can see!And now the news you probably already know: We're doing it again in 6 weeks!! The last one was incredible and you! should! be! there! All the info you need is below, including links to event pages with a description and FAQ if for some reason you're just now finding out about Instant Band Night and want to know what it is:March 9 2023 (click to add to your Gcal)6p$10East Bay Community Space507 55th St 94609(Eventbrite) (Facebook)+ +  T E L L   Y O U R   F R I E N D S  + ++ +  S E E   Y O U   T H E R E  + + 

Medium Ramble

Skippable if you're in a hurry.In last week's issue I gave us all some High Quality AI-Generated Fake Names with which a canny and unscrupulous hot girl and her team could swindle a boardroom's worth of money out of some easily-led dumbasses a la Elizabeth Holmes or Charlie Javice. I posited that the world could, under the proper conditions, someday soon be seeing magazine covers and opening lines in the vein of:"Tarbi Garvase is ready to lead ecommerce into the future, says TIME Magazine""Sweeping into the boardroom in head-to-toe Gucci, Cadelda Cichot is both poised and powerful""Top leadership tips from Jandine Masse of OceanSwarm"Taking it one step further, I was curious to see how easy it would be to just generate this sort of content de novo with the help of a useful AI, so naturally I turned to your friend and mine: ChatGPT. 

"Please write the opening to a magazine article profiling a powerful businesswoman named Cadelda Cichot in the style of Fortune"Cadelda Cichot is a force to be reckoned with in the business world. As the CEO of a rapidly growing tech company, she has proven time and time again that she has what it takes to lead a successful business. But Cichot's rise to the top was not without its challenges. Born and raised in a small town, she had to fight for every opportunity she received. Now, as one of the most powerful women in business, Cichot is using her platform to inspire others to follow their dreams and strive for success.In this exclusive interview with Fortune, Cichot shares her story of perseverance, the leadership lessons she learned along the way, and her vision for the future of the tech industry.

Not bad, especially for a first attempt at a prompt like this. But I thought we could do better: 

"Please write the opening to a breathless, fawning business magazine profile of a powerful businesswoman named Jandine Masse who is the CEO of a new ocean cleanup startup"Jandine Masse is a businesswoman who is truly changing the game. As the CEO of Ocean Clear, a cutting-edge ocean cleanup startup, she is leading the charge in the fight against plastic pollution and protecting our oceans for future generations. But Masse's impact on the industry extends far beyond her company's innovative technology. With her bold leadership and unshakable vision, she has become a true trailblazer in the business world.With a background in both engineering and business, Masse brings a unique perspective to the field of ocean conservation. Under her direction, Ocean Clear has quickly become one of the most promising companies in the industry, attracting the attention of investors and industry leaders alike. But despite her rapid rise to success, Masse remains grounded and humble, driven by a deep passion for her work and a fierce determination to make a positive impact on the world.In this in-depth profile, we take a closer look at the woman behind Ocean Clear, delving into her journey to the top, her leadership style, and her ambitious plans for the future. Get ready to be inspired by the unstoppable Jandine Masse.

Holy shit, incredible. I love that the machine made up a name for Jandine's startup without asking and that it was fairly reasonable. Let's not leave Tarbi out, though: 

"Please write the opening to a wildly excited and flattering business magazine profile of a powerful businesswoman named Tarbi Garvase who runs an ecommerce platform that the article's author does not entirely understand"Tarbi Garvase is a force to be reckoned with. As the CEO and founder of the rapidly-growing ecommerce platform, [Company], she has single-handedly revolutionized the industry and taken the business world by storm. With her sharp mind and unyielding determination, Tarbi has built a company that is not only successful, but one that is changing the way we think about online shopping.But what sets Tarbi apart from her peers is not just her business acumen, it's her passion for innovation. Despite being at the helm of a company that is constantly pushing the boundaries of what is possible in the ecommerce space, she remains grounded and approachable, always willing to lend an ear to new ideas and perspectives.It's hard to fully grasp the scope and scale of [Company]'s success, but one thing is for certain: Tarbi Garvase is a businesswoman who truly understands the future of ecommerce, and she's leading the charge.

I love that the machine fully followed through with the latter part of my request, but I thought we could do better than another "force to be reckoned with", so I suggested a few adjustments:âš¡ Asked the machine to make the article more excited-sounding👗 Told it Tarbi is very fashionable🤔 Asked it to make up a plausible-sounding name for Tarbi's ecommerce platformAnd behold: 

Get ready to be blown away, because Tarbi Garvase is taking the ecommerce world by storm - and she's doing it in style! As the powerhouse CEO and founder of VelocityCommerce, she's leading the charge in revolutionizing online shopping as we know it. With her boundless energy, relentless drive and impeccable fashion sense, Tarbi has built an empire that is not only leaving competitors in the dust, but also setting a whole new standard for success in the industry.But it's not just about the numbers for Tarbi - she's a true visionary, always pushing the boundaries of what's possible and never settling for the status quo. Her passion for innovation is contagious, and her impeccable fashion sense is the cherry on top, making her a true inspiration for many in the industry.If you haven't heard of VelocityCommerce yet, it's time to take notice. Tarbi Garvase and her team are leading the charge in shaping the future of ecommerce, and they're doing it with style, grace, unmatched excitement and a touch of fashion flair. Trust us, you don't want to miss out on this ride!

Imagine for a second that I had a team of a few people with plenty of time, webdev knowledge, and (most importantly) ChatGPT access. We could gin up a whole host of legit-looking "business news" websites and awards absolutely full of bullshit that would pass a first-glance look from a lazy intern tasked with due diligence. We could spin up LinkedIn accounts and make up entire graduating classes from prestigious universities and plausible-sounding startups, complete with fully worked-out CVs and believable nonsense hustle-culture posts made to adoring armies of bots. Look out everyone, #herecomesTarbi #motivation #success #nevergiveup!!!!!! Oh shit, it's #Cadeldatime #workplaceculture #wellness ETC ETCI'm just sayin'. The right team could put together a fake background and a twenty-slide pitch deck that would net them enough money from the right suckers on Sand Hill Road to disappear forever and live like kings and queens. Is there a movie like this in the works? Is someone going to have to write it with me? 

#dadthoughts

Also skippable if you're in a hurry or don't care. No judgment.We can communicate with Felix verbally now!ME: It's time for food, are you hungry, buddy?FELIX: Muh! (raises hands)ME: (puts a bowl of sweet potato chunks in front of him)FELIX: No.ME: (takes the bowl away) Okay, bud. How about some noodles?FELIX: Muh!ME: Got it. (brings some noodles) You thirsty?FELIX: Wawa!ME: Here comes wawa. (holds out the milk cup)(etc)He doesn't like having his diaper changed, but he loves to crawl up the stairs, so all we have to do is open the baby gate that normally closes off access to his beloved staircase and say "Time to go go!" and he practically sprints for it. "Go go" is currently a universal term for getting up or down from something, and is very handy for signaling when he's done with a meal and would like to be put on the floor so he can play.There was about a week or so where Felix didn't have any sort of nighttime disruptions, but lately there's been at least one incident per night (usually between 8-1030p) where he wakes up and starts screaming because he's lost contact with his little purple bunny and its location is unclear. At least those are easy to fix! But it would be nice if he could just stay asleep. Obviously there are a lot of new systems coming online in his brain right now, so we understand if he can't. You'll get there, bud. 

Fascination Corner

I read a lot of newsletters; here are some links that caught my eye. 

  • Experts in Australia estimate 10% of the population may end up with long covid if they keep doing things the way they are, which I assume is more or less the same as we're doing here in the US. Hint, hint. (The Age) 

  • If you've been wondering why eggs are more expensive, it's not because of the avian flu. It's just capitalism. (Vice) 

  • Carbon capture takes a couple billion tons of CO2 out of the atmosphere yearly, but it's still not enough, and all those new technologies we keep hearing about account for 0.1% of it. (Nature) 

  • NYC is spooling up a program to offer free abortion pills at four of its public clinics. (CNN) 

  • "What The Longest Study On Human Happiness Found Is The Key To A Good Life: The Harvard Study of Adult Development has established a strong correlation between deep relationships and well-being. The question is, how does a person nurture those deep relationships?" (~$Atlantic) 

  • Do you like Anne of Green Gables? Would you like to look at L.M. Montgomery's handwritten manuscript with annotations and contextual photos and stuff? Check out this site, then! (The Anne of Green Gables Manuscript) 

  • Back in the 1800s or so, the Canadian government tried to do a cultural genocide on its Native population in the form of residential schools, for which they've now agreed to pay a $2.8 billion settlement. (CBC) 

  • Can we quantify the feeling that looking at a nice sunset elicits? Seems like it?? (U of Exeter) (Paper) 

  • The Scientists think salt marshes might do just fine in a world of rising sea levels as long as there's enough sediment to go around. (UMass Amherst) 

  • Here's a look at the current state of the art in detecting people through walls using wifi signals from my alma mater. (Motherboard) (Paper) 

  • The Scientists are seeing a strange correlation between experiencing childhood trauma — any trauma — and increased civic engagement on environmental issues later in life. (U of Colorado Boulder) (Paper) 

  • An extremely promising antibiotic candidate has been found at work inside a sugar cane pathogen. (John Innes Centre) 

  • Mondelez Intl, global umbrella for a truly staggering array of Brands, has released its 2022 State of Snacking report. (State of Snacking) 

  • Huh!! The Scientists have successfully tested antibacterial bacteria + low-dose antibiotics in mouse lungs. [let_them_fight.gif] (Centre for Genomic Regulation) (Paper) 

  • Archaeological evidence suggests the start of farming in Neolithic Europe was wild, folks. (U of Edinburgh) (Paper) 

  • It sure looks like all the streaming services except Netflix are losing money, so hopefully they'll consolidate soon. Or I guess there's always piracy!!!!!! (Vox) 

  • A couple of divers in Japan have captured extraordinary footage of an alive giant squid swimming near the surface, and when I say "extraordinary," I mean "good lord why are you so close to it" (Science Alert) 

  • Actually, while we're talking about squid, The Scientists have hit upon a way to use squid tissue to make better, stronger hydrogels. (Hokkaido U) (Paper) 

  • Your Starfleet technobabble term of the week for this issue is "vortex ultrasound," a technology Some Engineers have developed to break up blood clots inside veins and arteries. (NC State) 

  • The Scientists think neural networks with the right design can help predict unprecedented "black swan" events. (IEEE Spectrum) 

  • This list of packaging pet peeves is very good. (The Dieline) 

  • mRNA vaccine technology fucking rules: there's an RSV vaccine for adults showing some real promise. (Reuters) 

  • Did you know that one of the main options for getting rid of "forever chemicals" involves putting contaminated materials in a container full of metal balls and shaking the fuck out of it? Well, The Scientists have found a particular kind of metal is really good at it, but the writeup doesn't say how available or scalable the solution is. (American Chemical Society) 

  • If you don't follow through on something you said you'd do, even tiny children are fully capable of correctly evaluating whether your excuse is valid or some hot bullshit. (Duke) 

  • The, uh. The solid inner core of Earth might have stopped rotating and begun to spin in the other direction??? It might actually do this every 70y or so???? (Motherboard) 

  • The Scientists appear to have figured out how to synthesize a whole new magical class of materials that look like chainmail at the molecular level??? (UC Berkeley) 

  • The world's oldest runestone has been discovered, but nobody knows the meaning of the word it bears yet. (Science Alert) 

  • Some Engineers have wildly miniaturized a device for space probes designed to detect signs of extraterrestrial life. (U of Maryland) 

  • Speaking of space, The Scientists have taken an edge-on picture of our galaxy encompassing 3.32 billion objects. (NOIRLab) (Viewer) 

  • Someone has thought through the "what if the superintelligent AI machine gods look at us the way we look at ants" analogy and has some interesting insights for us. (World Spirit Sock Stack) 

  • Could kelp farms help reduce pollution in the ocean near the coasts? The Scientists are starting to test the idea. (U of Alaska Fairbanks) 

  • The Scientists think they've spotted a neural mechanism that helps explain why we remember more emotional memories better. (Columbia Engineering) 

A Fictional Thing

Something made-up that somehow suggested itself to me and which I could not escape.A band and their album

(I remembered a formula for making fake album covers that involves searching for a random appropriately licensed photo on Flickr and then applying your best Graphic Design Skills to the result; let me know if you like this better or worse than when I just wrote them out and/or if you want to tell me what you think this band/album sounds like, because your answers are always incredible) 

Thanks

If you've read this far, I thank you. Feel free to forward this to someone you like, or inflict upon someone you don't.