maybe he'll grow up to be a tuba player

August 27, 2018

Welcome to Corgi-Class Starship, the newsletter that for some reason craved something chocolatey-tasting that would last longer than actual chocolate, which is why there's now a bag of Tootsie Rolls in the cabinet. I can't explain it any better than that, either. 

You'll Like This

Update(s) on thing(s) I made or somehow helped to bring about.Idea Factory Giveaway79 - A Microphone-Shaped Object"Jon (@ferociousj), Besha (@besha), and special guest Jenna exhume some edifying notions for products, parties, and cultural practices before revealing the shortest test possible to determine someone's level of humanity."The two episodes in which Jenna appears as a guest contain what I can only describe as True Knowledge Bombshells; real talk.If you haven't yet, subscribe by searching "Idea Factory Giveaway" in your podcast app of choice (and let me know if it doesn't pop up). If you're already there, feel free to leave a 5-star rating and a nice review (it helps; algorithms, etc, you know the deal).More Tales From Ten ForwardHOME STRETCH, PEOPLE: Tales From Ten Forward is essentially Drunk History but for Star Trek episodes.  We'd love to make more, but it turns out making videos is surprisingly expensive, so we're crowdfunding.  We're not out to build a movie studio or print merch or run away to the Caribbean or anything else -- we just want to feed our cast/crew and buy the props we inevitably turn out to need. If you can, help or signal boost as you see fit!More Tales From Ten ForwardAlternatively: this is also covered in the GoFundMe text, but if you've got a bunch of Star Trek junk you don't need and think we could find a use for it, get @ me. You won't be getting it back, but hey -- it'll be out of your house!Instant Band Night VI: The Undiscovered CountryThe sixth Instant Band Night is coming:Thursday September 13507 55th St 946098p$5/personBYOBInstant Band Night is a pet party concept of mine where musicians who've just met form bands on the spot.(1)The first rule of Instant Band Night is: 👏 YOU 👏 DON'T 👏 HAVE 👏 TO 👏 PLAY 👏 AN 👏 INSTRUMENT 👏 TO 👏 ATTEND 👏 (2)The second rule of Instant Band Night is: We guarantee you (the audience) an astonishingly excellent time.(3)The third rule of Instant Band Night is: Invite your friends!!!!!!!Here's what it actually looks like:1. The stage has a drum kit, guitar, bass, keyboard, and mics.2. We draw names out of hats to make instant bands that get 10 minutes in the green room to plan an 8-minute set.3. A hat-drawn artist will also take the stage alongside each band to draw their gig poster on a meeting room easel pad.Come play or come watch; you'll have fun either way! Bring your people, crack a beverage: let's do this. Here are convenient links to Facebook and Eventbrite; invite your pals! Forward this email! Do it! Do it now!!! 

Medium Ramble

Skippable if you're in a hurry.Quick request for you: if you're a podcast listener, just go into whatever app you're using and see if "Idea Factory Giveaway" pops up -- if it does, subscribe. You don't have to actually listen, I just want to see if that does anything. I haven't really been focused on ratings or subscriptions for the show; I like doing it and genuinely think it's good, which seems to be enough for me, but helping it find a wider audience through algorithmic divination seems like a notion without any downsides. 

#dadthoughts

Also skippable if you're in a hurry or don't care. No judgment.Quentin has had the following responses to music: 

  • Paul Simon's Graceland played on an iPhone: waving arms, bouncing in place 

  • A random mix of indie rock, chill beats, hip hop, and EDM played over car speakers: inconclusive (possible car seat confinement interference) 

  • Guitar played by me standing next to him with occasional vocal accompaniment: waving arms, occasional smiles and babbling 

  • Violin, also played by me, at quiet volume and at varying distances from him: crying

Further experiments involving the Beatles and (yes) Dave Matthews Band are in the preliminary stages. No one can stop me. 

Fascination Corner

I read a lot of newsletters; here are some links that caught my eye. 

  • By now it really, really shouldn't be surprising what a stupid, petulant child we have in the Oval Office, but somehow it still is. 

  • According to Anne Lamott, "If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should've behaved better." As a POW, John McCain did a thing that took a level of determination and integrity that might as well be called superhuman, and then what? How'd he get from that to this? Or this? Someone should write a biography of him titled What Happened??? 

  • There might be a molecular mechanism for overeating. 

  • It's not entirely surprising that belief in creationism and conspiracy theories are correlated. 

  • Here's an interesting dive into How Target Keeps Its 'Tar-zhay' Luster. 

  • I will concede that beer is good for at least one thing:* making a coating for energy-efficient windows.* I'm a cider man for life. 

  • Oh phew: it is possible to make an algorithm that can detect fake news, and it works slightly better than a human. 

  • I can't fault where Vice ended up with this bracket of The Worst Fanbases on the Internet, Ranked, but let's just say I have my own pick and it differs. 

  • The QAnon people have no fucking idea what to do after Michael Cohen's guilty plea and it's amazing. 

  • I hope this blood type-transforming discovery turns out to be practical, 'cause it's goddamn fascinating. 

  • Now this is interesting: High Status-Signaling Deters New Friendships. 

  • You will laugh out loud when you see the elegant simplicity of this concrete block-based system of energy storage. 

  • PAPER-BASED BATTERIES???? 

  • I have complex feelings about the ability of Merck to deploy the profit motive to create an Ebola vaccine. 

  • Ajit Pai should get flaming bags of shit on his doorstep for the rest of his stupid fucking life for this. Update: Santa Clara County tells Verizon to shove their "customer support issue" excuse up their ass. 

  • Alright, so: the Clown Egg Register. If I'm a clown in the UK and I want to make sure I'm not inadvertently copying some other clown from the deep past, how do I go about verifying that? Do I look through the entire fucken archive???? Or are these images digitally catalogued and tagged in some way to make searchability possible? 

  • Necessary: Fuck Elon Musk's feelings. 

  • I only agree with part of this, in that the author does propose a reason why shit is broken, but doesn't address a framework by which we might judge the success or failure of any notional solutions. I wouldn't ordinarily demand this, but the title does seem to imply solutions were considered and rejected. Whaddayamean we can't fix the internet? Did we try? Etc. 

A Fictional Thing

Something made-up that somehow suggested itself to me and which I could not escape.A band and their albumThree Card Wizard, An Artifact of Human Frailty 

Thanks

If you've read this far, I thank you. Feel free to forward this to someone you like, or inflict upon someone you don't.