who authorized this transaction

November 28, 2017

Welcome to Corgi-Class Starship, the #1 newsletter by and for dads of babies that are 15 days old as of the time of this writing. 

You'll Like This

Update(s) on thing(s) I made or somehow helped to bring about.Idea Factory Giveaway57 - The Ultimate Voter Test"Jon (@ferociousj), Besha (@besha), and special guest Liz Dembski discover some strong concepts for civic improvement, kitchen utensils, and party games."I'm not kidding when I say I have an idea for a simple voter test that could save democracy as we know it.You can subscribe using:Apple PodcastsRSSStitcherGoogle Play MusicYou can also just go to the website to play or download episodes:https://ideafactorygiveaway.simplecast.fm/Instant Band Night 2It's another installment of Instant Band Night, folks. I'm giving you warning now because it's coming early in the new year, which itself is closer than we could have ever imagined possible. In case you missed it last time, Instant Band Night is a thing that happens where I take over a small music venue:1. The stage has a drum kit, guitar, bass, keyboard, and mics.2. We draw names out of hats to make instant bands that get 10 minutes in the green room to plan an 8-minute set.3. A hat-drawn artist will also take the stage alongside each band to draw their gig poster on a meeting room easel pad.If you're in the Bay Area on January 11th and enjoy fun, get over to the East Bay Community Space:507 55th St (@ Telegraph)Oakland CA 946098p$5 doorBYOBThere are details and FAQs on Eventbrite and Facebook if you're into that sort of thing. 

Medium Ramble

Skippable if you're in a hurry.It turns out ThinkGeek got rid of their excellent Star Trek: TNG PJs at some point and replaced them with something that could have been equally cool,* but is instead much worse. The old PJs were two-piece and looked basically identical to the uniforms everyone wore in season 3 onward: the collars were right, the pips were the correct size, even the embroidered-on Starfleet commbadge was proportional. Somebody over there was paying attention to the details, and it showed; these PJs were [chef kiss gesture] and I will treasure my sets forever (yes, I own all three division colors) (what can I say, they were the perfect "just get me this for Xmas" gift idea for the in-laws).The new PJs are a onesie. Which would have been hilarious if they'd made them look like the season 1-2 uniforms -- which were in fact spandex onesies -- but they didn't, and they don't. Instead, they look like a poorly-made attempt at a Starfleet uniform from a season that never happened: no piping on the collar, huge pips, weird-lookin' commbadge. It doesn't do anybody any favors. Why do this? This bullshit would not have gotten past whoever oversaw the previous TNG PJ project. In episode 50 of the podcast, we uncovered a notion called the Etsy Fandom Concept QA Officer, which I think clearly deserves a revisit. How does ThinkGeek QA its various fandom-related offerings? How does any company that makes nerd merch? Who do I talk to about getting that job?* For a very specific value of "cool" that may be different than yours. 

#dadthoughts

Also skippable if you're in a hurry or don't care. No judgment.Let us here sing the praises of nurses now and forevermore. Their job is hard as fuck: they have to interact with and take care of people who are by definition in some measure of distress and hence not at their social best, repeatedly performing tasks that can be simultaneously mundane, gross, and literally life-sustaining all goddamn day or night. And they do it well, exhibiting true compassion and commitment to being helpful and caring. To my shame, I've lost track of the names of all the nurses who helped Mavis and me through her labor, the C-section, and the subsequent recovery. For sure I can recall Nurses Erin, Lori, Doug, Kimberly, Lisa, and Lashawnda, who were amazing and from whom I learned many vital soothing, burping, and swaddling techniques. Being a nurse should be one of the most well-paid jobs in America, and when I'm king, I will make sure this happens and can never be reversed.Props also need to be given to the various doctors we encountered: Dr. Ishino, possibly the friendliest OB in the unit; Dr. Aronov(?), whose bedside manner was just the right mix of steady and businesslike yet personable; the anesthesiologist who pulled off what our doula swore was the best epidural she'd ever witnessed; the other anesthesiologists who later performed the highly effective blood patch on Mavis; it's just doctors all the way down, people.I want to draw special attention to in-house Kaiser Oakland lactation consultant Jen Lendl, who helped us crack Quentin's uncoordinated approach to breastfeeding over the last couple days of our stay. Jen also had the bonus of looking exactly the way you'd want a friendly witch from a good storybook to look: frizzy red hair pulled back in a bun, thick-rimmed glasses, coat pockets literally bulging with helpful tools and equipment.Lastly, but certainly not least....ly, our doula Zoey Anderson deserves probably more credit for the success of this whole thing than me. She delivered all of the experience and knowledge needed to help Mavis through the process at every point; I just followed her instructions. I honestly have no idea how the hell anybody gets through a birth without a doula. I mean, I went to all the classes Kaiser offered on the labor and delivery process -- and there were a few -- but there's just no way I'd've been ready. If you're reading this and you're thinking about having a kid or you're already pregnant and wondering what to do when the time comes, get yourself a doula immediately. And if you're in the Bay Area, hit me up; I know a great one. 

Fascination Corner

I read a lot of newsletters; here are some links that caught my eye.

  • Chemical & Engineering News points out that there are raw materials in sewage that could be put to good use if someone could figure out how to extract them. I'm just glad someone's thinking about this, 'cause it's a great point. 

  • Somebody wrote an algorithm that looks at crime records, and it thinks there are something like two thousand serial killers loose in the US. Huh. 

  • Here's an interesting case where we can witness the evolution of a new pidgin English in realtime inside a refugee camp. 

  • VR TELEPRESENCE ROBOT. From Toyota, of all -- actually, that makes sense. 

  • At least we know the officer in charge at US Strategic Command is sane. 

  • The World Economic Forum says Capitalism is losing support. It is time for a new deal; no shit, guys. (Read this, though; it's interesting) 

  • I'm so pleased that the Google Lunar XPRIZE is still a thing. 

  • I like a good bioremediation story, but I also like that this plan seems to have a lower risk of the organisms busting out and replicating willy-nilly in the environment they're supposed to help clean. As a side note, I've always wanted that specific problem to be known as a Gorilla Conundrum because of that one Simpsons moment. 

  • Wooden ... skyscrapers? Really? 

  • Please enjoy this Twitter thread that assigns letter grades to various fox species and maybe join me in incorporating "who authorized this transaction" into your own subsequent everyday use. 

  • As a direct of result of said Twitter thread, now let's all learn why domesticated foxes are great but also terrible pets. 

  • It's very clear by now that using neural networks to sift through astronomy data is a fantastic goddamn idea. What else can we use them for that we aren't? There's gotta be something we've overlooked. 

  • I'm just going to let this headline speak for itself: Science has proven that you're a better person if you like Harry Potter — here's why. 

  • This BuzzFeed profile of a Sikh motorcycle club presents a slice of the kind of America I would like to be a real thing everywhere as soon as possible. 

  • I hereby request more oral histories of classic Simpsons episodes on the order of at least 1-3 per week from here until we run out. Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.

A Fictional Thing

Something made-up that somehow suggested itself to me and which I could not escape.A band and their albumThe Sexual Favors, Dare We Be Certain 

Thanks

If you've read this far, I thank you. Feel free to forward this to someone you like, or inflict upon someone you don't.